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Spoilers, for better or worse, have become the new metric for true friendship. Forget driving to the airport in pouring rain, or hefting a sofa down five flights and around the block… in pouring rain. None of that matters now. It’s all about the spoilers.

How To Avoid The Spoilers

This is your definitive guide to dodging spoilers, avoiding spoiling things for others, and ultimately keeping all of your friends.

Communicate

Communicate Early and Often

Are you jumping into the last season of Game of Thrones with no prior knowledge, like some kind of lunatic?

Let people know!

Your loved ones can’t support and enable your reckless decisions if they don’t know about them. Arya who? Don’t worry about it! You’ll figure it out along the way. The first step is to take a Bran-like tumble into viewership and tell everyone that Season 8 is YOUR season. That way, you’ll be safe from spoilers that are full of completely unfamiliar character names.

Mormont? I’m sure it’s not important.

Stay off, Social Media

  Stay Off (Certain) Social Media

Live-tweeting. Instagram stories. Even the occasional vintage Facebook status. All of these are landmines, just waiting to ruin popular content for you.

The solution here is fairly simple: Log off.

I know what you’re thinking: How will I stay connected to my friends? Get creative. Message old classmates on Linkedin! Watch money pass between acquaintances on Venmo! Comment on your aunt’s Yelp reviews! Lesser social media platforms can become your go-tos when you’re avoiding anything that could be interesting or relevant.

You’ll be pleased to find that Endgame spoilers are scarce in your sleep-tracking app.

SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Don’t Spoil Things

This one is easy. Don’t say it.

If It Happens... It happens

So…You’ve Had Something Spoiled

It was bound to happen eventually. You overheard an elevator conversation and barely decided against hitting the emergency button. What’s done is done, and now you know exactly what happened to whichever Stark (Tony, Sansa, etc.) concerns you. Living on the other side of a major spoiler can be done, but it takes time.

Drink some water, get some fresh air, and consider finally binge watching The Wire. It’s really good!  

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Leah Sammak
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